It Shall Not Be So Among You

And so back in Matthew chapter 20, this is the second time we see the Lord bringing this up to them and he adds a little bit of information in verse number 19. Verse 18 is basically the same as in Matthew chapter 16 but verse 19 adds the entrance of the Gentiles to mock and discourage and to crucify him. So this is really the first time that the Lord has clearly said that he would be crucified which was a Roman method of punishment, not a Jewish method of punishment.

And so this is specific to the Romans and so that’s why it’s important that he would be delivered to the Gentiles. And so what the Lord is doing is he is revealing bit by bit by little and little, he’s revealing what’s going to happen to him as he nears this time. And so we don’t read how they were shocked although I have to say I don’t know if what we’re going to read starting in verse 20 was a conversation that happened right on the heels of 17 to 19 where Jesus is talking about his sufferings.

But if it did, man, it was in some poor taste because right after this is when James and John ask him about who’s going to be the greatest and can they sit on his right hand and his left hand and it’s almost if they occurred in succession in that way, they obviously weren’t listening very well. Now not everything in the gospels is recorded chronologically so that may or may not be the case.

There’s no real indication as to the strict chronological order here but anyway let’s go to verse number 20 and read down to verse number 28. Then came to him the mother of Jezebede’s children with her sons, worshiping him and desiring a certain thing of him. And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand and the other on the left in thy kingdom.

But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. He saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with. But to sit on my right hand and on my left is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my father.

And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. And Jesus called them unto him and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercised dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you. But whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister. Now when you read that word minister, I want you to try your best not to think of a preacher, because I know we use that word and we think of a minister as a preacher.

That is not what the Lord is talking about here. A minister in this case is talking about a servant. It’s actually the same word as deacon. It’s a minister, a servant. Verse 27, And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant. Even as the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many.

Let’s pray together. Lord as we try to look at your example, Lord we are so glad of the example that you have given us. Lord we desire that we might see your example clearly and that we might follow the example that you gave. We are so thankful that in every virtue that you commend to us, in every virtue that you command us, you stand yourself as the example to emulate and to follow.

And Lord we love to look at you and to see your pattern. And Lord we pray that by your Spirit you would enable us to do the things that you have set the example for in this passage. Help us to understand the Scripture now as we study it. Help me Lord to say the things your people need to hear and that will strengthen them and help them.

In Jesus’ name we ask, Amen. Now when you get down to verse number 20, you see that it’s just an odd situation. The mother of Zebedee’s children. I don’t know why the Scripture referred, why not just say James and John’s mom. I don’t know why, but James and John were the sons of Zebedee and so I assume this was their father’s wife, their mother, right? But for whatever reason this is what is mentioned.

But when you look in Mark and you look in Luke, the parallel passages, you don’t see the mention of the mother, but the mother is absolutely there and that’s an important factor. And you know, from a human perspective you can understand that mama wants her boys to succeed. She wants them to be at the front of the kingdom or whatever. She probably wants that, but really she’s asking the wrong question.

Verse 20, she comes with her, then came to him, the mother of Zebedee’s children with her sons, worshiping him. So this is a lady that she believes in Christ, obviously with her sons, disciples of Christ. And so this is just a reminder, not only this, but remember verse 24, there’s a strife, there’s a division among these disciples. And there are no people that are closer to the Lord, walking with the Lord more faithfully, doing his will more readily than these twelve men, eleven.

But these men, these disciples, and yet they still have problems with each other. They still have issues. And they still, and you see this over and over and over in the gospels. Now when you get into the book of Acts, when they have the Spirit of God come upon them and all of those, it’s different. It seems to be different. That doesn’t mean they had no fault or sin.

No they did. But what you see here is kind of the raw form. And it’s reminding us that the disciples of Christ often have issues like this. And again, we saw one this morning, now we’re seeing another, which is ambition. So James and John and their mother come to Jesus and he says, what wilt thou? And she saith unto them, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.

Now the Lord never says, now excuse me Mrs. Zebedee, you don’t really understand. There is no kingdom. That’s just a figure. It’s just a symbol. It’s not an actual kingdom. No, he does not correct that. What he corrects is not her theology, but her motivation. And you see here in verse 22, he says, ye know not what ye ask. So let’s look at the question that this lady asks for her sons.

Now when you look at Mark and Luke, you’ll see that James and John are the ones asking this question. And in fact, Jesus answers James and John, even though the mother is the one that initially brings up the question. This question that they ask is one that is just absolutely overflowing. They are just swollen with worldly ambition. They have totally misunderstood the Lord’s mission. They have totally misunderstood the kingdom of heaven.

That’s why the Lord, as we saw this morning, the Lord talks about all these parables to unlock the way he rules his kingdom, the kingdom of heaven, which is essentially a spiritual kingdom, at least at this moment. Now there will be one day when that kingdom of heaven is not only spiritual but also physical, but at this moment it’s spiritual. The way the Lord rules it is not the way you see it in the world.

And he tries to teach them over and over and over and over. And he just finished teaching them this thing. And here they are asking. They’re asking a question that is just filled with worldly ambition. In this question is the expectation that James and John will be able to exercise power over others. They’re looking for that. They’re hoping for that. In this question is an expectation that James and John will have a greater position than the other disciples.

For there are only two sides to Jesus’ throne, the left and the right, James and John. There’s nowhere else. That excludes all the others. Now you might say, well what’s the problem with that? They want to have a greater position than the disciples. It’s because it is contrary, totally contrary to what the Lord is teaching them. In this question also is the expectation that they will have greater honor than the other disciples.

Now I know we are way ahead of the game. When they heard these things, it was really the first time that they were being introduced to these truths that we know of. So if I were to say to you, is it right or is it wrong for a person to long after greater honor than another? What would you say? Would you say that’s good or is that bad?

Well according to what we saw this morning and other scriptures we’re familiar with, that’s not a good thing. That’s pride. And yet that’s exactly what they wanted. Furthermore in this question is also the expectation that the places of James and John that they have of honor will be related to their family relationships. Remember it was their mom who led the conversation. Mom has interest. I don’t know, maybe she thought she would get a kick back.

I don’t know. Maybe she thought she’d be well taken care of. Maybe Zebedee had died. I don’t know. I don’t know. But there’s a family connection here because James and John are brothers. And so the fact that they come together with their mother indicates at least to me that they have kind of their eye in that way. Now the problem is that they’re asking the wrong questions.

This is not a question a disciple of Christ should be asking. And so if you look at verse 22, look how the Lord answers. He says, you know not what you ask. In other words, you don’t know what you’re asking for. Your question is all wrong. You’re off base. Now listen to what he says in verse 22. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?

Now notice how he connects the cup. What does that send your mind to? Your mind should go to what? Gethsemane, right? The Garden of Gethsemane. Let this cup pass from me. But he connects the cup, which is suffering, right? That’s suffering. He connects it with baptism. Now this is not water baptism, so just forget about that. It has nothing to do with water baptism. Jesus has already been baptized.

We’re not talking about water here. This is another kind of baptism. This is a baptism of suffering. And you can tell by the connection. Let’s look at a few, look at Luke chapter 12 real quick. I want to show you a couple of verses just to kind of give you a chase a rabbit trail a little bit. Luke 12. This is, as far as I know, this is the only other instance of the bat, of Jesus mentioning the word baptism in this way, in this meaning.

Verse number 50, Luke 12 verse 50 says this. Jesus says, but I have a baptism to be baptized with and how am I straightened till it be accomplished? How am I straightened to be accomplished? Can you imagine that the Lord Jesus was straightened? That idea that he feels shut in. He feels, he feels antsy to go to the cross. He’s so intent on doing the will of God that he feels, he feels like he can’t put his mind on anything else.

And that’s his soul and singular focus and obsession is the will of his father, even though that be the will of his father. And so he refers to that suffering as a baptism. Now if you would go to one more place, go to 1 Corinthians chapter 15. First Corinthians 15 verse number 28. I’m not going to spend long here, but I just want to show you one thing is this is a verse that’s often, you know, people debate about what the meaning of it is.

Verse 28, and when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him that God may be all in all. Else, what shall they do which are baptized for the dead? So the Mormons say if you don’t believe in Mormonism, that a Mormon later after you’re dead can get baptized substitutionarily, vicariously for you based upon this verse.

But that’s not what it’s talking about. This is talking about else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead if the dead rise not at all. Why are they then baptized for the dead? And here’s the key. If you want to know what this means, it’s the next verse. Why stand we in jeopardy? In jeopardy of what, Paul? Death. Baptism for the dead means you die.

You’re immersed in the same suffering that Jesus would be immersed in. You’re dead. You’re killed for Christ’s sake. Why stand we in jeopardy every hour? In fact, his whole argument, if you look at the context, his whole argument is if there is no resurrection, then why in the world would anybody be subject to suffering unto death? That’s his whole argument. And so that’s what baptism for the dead means.

But you could study that later. I figured since we’re on the subject, we might as well touch on it as we continue going. So back to Matthew 20, notice what the Lord says in verse number 22. They say, Lord, they say, Lord, we want glory. They say, we want a place of honor and position. And the Lord’s answer in verse 22 about the cup and about baptism is essentially this.

You don’t understand that the glory that you seek only comes through great suffering for my sake. You want glory, you will get suffering. You see, they’re asking for glory. Jesus is going to give them suffering because it is a scriptural principle, which I want to show you that suffering always precedes glory. Even on earth, even as a believer, even you and me, even though we don’t think of ourselves necessarily as enduring a great amount of suffering for the name of Christ, yet the shame that comes from being attached to the Lord Jesus Christ, that is required prior to our being glorified with him.

Look at a few verses in the New Testament. Romans, starting Romans chapter 8, Romans 8, Romans 8 verse number 17. Romans 8, 17 says this, and if children, then heirs. So here you are, you’re a child of God, therefore you’re an heir of God, that is what he owns you on. That’s what that means. An heir is someone who owns, who possesses the property of the Lord.

If children then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, and we say yeah, we’re going to own it, we’re going to reign with Christ, we’re going to be joint heirs with And here’s the kicker, if so be that we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified together. Again, you see that, the order, suffering, glory. Look at 1st, 2nd Timothy chapter 2, if you would, 2nd Timothy chapter 2.

In chapter 2 of 2nd Timothy there’s a saying, verse number 11, 2nd Timothy 2 verse 11. This is a saying, in other words, a truth that’s encapsulated into one single statement, right? This is something that apparently the early Christians said to one another, reminded each other of, and here it is, it is a faithful saying, if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him.

If we suffer, we shall also reign with him. If we deny him, he also will deny us. See that? Suffer reign. Suffer reign. 1st Peter, for the last one look at 1st Peter chapter 4. 1st Peter 4, verse number 12. Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you, but rejoice inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings that ye may be saved.

It is a scriptural principle. It is a scriptural principle. Let me ask you a question. Are you willing to suffer for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ? It is easy for us to say, well of course, because we are the ones who suffer. We are the ones who suffer. We are the ones who suffer. We are the ones who suffer. We are the ones who suffer.

We are the ones who suffer. It is easy for us to say, well of course, because we have in our mind something far off, something distant, persecution that we know that is, well, given history is unlikely to happen to us. That might change, but if you go back in the recent history of our country where we have lived, persecution has not been a major factor in our country.

That could change, and we understand that. There is absolutely no guarantee that we are going to be without persecution. So we can look at that and in our mind think, well that is probably not going to happen. So yes, I am willing to suffer for Christ. But the thing is, are we willing to suffer for Christ and do the things that might lead to that now here in this world, like in the society in which we live?

Because the Bible says that all they that live with Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. So if you and I put the pedal to the metal, we put the gas to the floor, and we serve God with all that we have, you can guarantee that people are not going to be happy about it. Are we willing to do that? Honestly, I think a lot of people, and I feel it myself, but I think a lot of people, a lot of Americans are willing to do almost anything to avoid suffering for the sake of Christ.

And I want to avoid it too, but it becomes an idol. It becomes an idol. I think of Brother David with the ministry they have at the abortion clinic. In a manner, I know Brother David has not, as far as I know, not been physically assaulted, probably close, or wanted, somebody wanted to physically assault him for sure. But when they go down there and they preach, and they try to, there’s scorn and shame and foul language and cursing poured out upon them, those that go down there, and that’s to bear testimony to Christ and to righteousness and that kind of thing.

And so there’s, some people are like, I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to stand there when people curse at me. Well, but that’s the suffering before the glory. And that suffering is minor in the big picture, right, compared to what the Lord is talking about. So back in Matthew chapter number 20, look at how the Lord describes his own suffering. He calls it a baptism.

A baptism. What a description of Christ’s suffering. Not just sprinkled with pain, but immersed in anguish and agony. Like being boiled in a cauldron of suffering. That truly is a good picture of the suffering of Christ for us. So the Lord’s answer to them to come full circle is, you don’t understand what you’re saying. You want glory? I’m going to give you suffering. And the truth is, they’re going to get glory.

James and John, as faithful witnesses of Christ, are going to get glory, but not before they get suffering. But the Lord is also trying to rebuke, and this is what we’re going to in the second part, is this. The Lord is also trying to get at their motivation. Why do you want glory? Why do you want this glory? Because this isn’t glory from the Lord they want.

This is glory among their peers. Why? Why do you want that? They say confidently in verse number 22, we are able, and yet these both of these men, the moment there’s the slightest threat of suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, they are gone like a bolt of lightning. The confidence, you know, it just, it leaves them immediately. These very men. And so we go to verse number 20, verse number 24 says, And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.

Now let me ask you a question. Were James and John asking the right question? No. The Lord did not commend that question. It wasn’t a good question. Their motivation is not good, as we’ll see. That was not a good question. So they shouldn’t have done that. But should the other disciples then also have gotten angry? You know why they’re getting angry? They’re getting angry for the same reason that James and John are seeking glory and power over the rest of the disciples.

Because they want it. It’s the same thing. At any point, either party were to say, Let’s look at Jesus. Let’s look at our Savior and see His example. They wouldn’t have been angry and they wouldn’t have been seeking power over their brethren. And that’s exactly what the Lord’s going to explain to them. Now notice how the Lord deals with in verse 25. Jesus called them unto Him.

In other words, there’s a problem between this guy and this guy, these guys and those guys. The Lord says, Come here, let’s talk about it. Would God we could resolve issues like that? Right? There was such love and primarily love for the Savior and such humility that we could listen to the Lord teach us and instruct us. Right? Both sides. But this is how the Lord said, Let’s talk about it.

And here’s what He says. Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them. And they that are great exercise authority upon them. But, and I’m going to say this emphatically because this is I think big in this passage. But it shall not be so among you. So what the Lord does is He sets forth this kind of leadership. He sets forth something they’re familiar with.

You know what that is? That’s the rule of Herod, the rule of Pilate, the rule of the Pharisees, the rule of the Sadducees, the worldly rulers in their day. They were all familiar with the way that worked. They knew the way the Caesar worked. They knew in their world. They knew the way that leaders operated. And He sets that forth and says, You know how that goes.

You know how that goes. So He’s using the worldly rulers, the worldly leaders as a negative example. So meditate with me on that. What types of people, just ask yourself, what types of people does the world expect to be leaders? What types of people does the world expect to be leaders? It’s not just the leaders themselves, but a lot of what drives, especially in our world with our democracy, right, where the people choose.

Why are we choosing the people we’re choosing? You know why? Because there’s certain kind of leaders we want, certain kind of leaders we expect. So I wrote some things down. You could probably add to this. I encourage you to do so. The world expects leaders to be people that are wealthy. Right? Well, if they’re not wealthy when they start, they sure better be wealthy when they’re done.

Right? But this is, you know, if someone comes into it with a lot of money and with that comes a lot of clout, they’re, it’s almost automatic. They’re expected to kind of be that. You know, for all the talk about, you know, the 1% and all that, that’s the very people that always want to pick. Is it not? The world expects leaders to be people that hold earthly honor among men.

In other words, they want a leader. The world wants a leader who other men also agree is a man who’s respectable. Right? And who’s honorable in their sight. And I don’t mean honorable in a scriptural sense. I mean honorable like he’s held in honor among men. That’s the kind of leaders that they expect that they are looking for. The world expects leaders to be people that are well connected.

You know, the movers and shakers, the guys who know people, you know, they’re in touch with power. Because, of course, you know, you can’t get anything done in this world unless it’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know. Right? As they say. The world expects leaders to be people who assert and brag on themselves. Just, hey, you don’t have to look very far to see this.

And I want to tell you something. And I mean it in earnest when I say the world wants people who actually do brag on themselves. The world does not view it as a virtue for someone to refuse to brag on themselves. No, they view it as a virtue to actually brag on yourself and to your own heart. And when a politician won’t, as an example, they don’t get elected.

It’s just not on the large scale at least. Because they don’t talk about themselves enough. Don’t assert themselves enough. The world expects family relationships among leaders. And that’s, you can see it in our country as well. You got, of course, you got George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush and you’ve got John Adams and John Quincy Adams. And I mean there’s been many, many, many other examples where there’s family connections.

And then you go back in other periods, other countries, where there’s kings and the sons of the king, the family of the king, all of whom are rulers. In this world, no thought is given to those leaders’ personal or family lives. Nobody looks at the president and his wrecked family life and says boo about it. Yeah, they do. But I mean most of the people that say anything have also had a wrecked life like that.

So I mean they don’t really have grounds to say anything. Nobody says anything. Nobody. How many, how many worldly leaders are we looking for who are actually, who actually have it together personally? That is not who generally, I mean, again, on the larger scale, that’s not the people who get elected. That’s not the people whose lives are wrecked because nobody’s looking at that. That’s not what they’re looking for or expecting.

So these, these are just my brainstorm because again the Lord sets forth worldly leadership and he says you are not to be like this. But that’s what they’re doing. Now here’s the thing. In the Church of God, in the Kingdom of Heaven, the criteria that this world is looking for and is using to judge their leaders should be totally and completely excluded from consideration among the people of God.

You know, you have a, the church has to have a, you know, the church is in need of a pastor. We’re not looking for a guy with money. We’re not looking for a guy that has connections. We’re not looking for a big shot. The church needs a deacon, needs some deacons. We’re not looking for people who, who have been this or been that or have large amounts of money or served here and there and that’s not what we’re looking for.

We’re not looking for somebody who, who others view, others view in high esteem out in the world. That’s not what we’re looking for at all. See, that’s the way the world views leadership. That’s their criteria for it. That’s not the Lord’s. But yet in churches is that, you know, oh well so and so they would be a good deacon because, you know, they were, you know, they were this or they were that or, you know, well they, you know, they have, they’ve got a lot of money, you know, they’re wealthy or whatever.

But that is not the criteria. The Lord is specifically saying resist. This is not how his, his kingdom works. You see a man is not deemed fit to lead the people of God due to these things. But not only that, again we’re looking at the negative example, not only the types of people that the world looks to to be leaders but also the method of leadership. How in this world do men lead?

How in this world do leaders lead? Leaders in this world are ambitious. Is that not true? Leaders in this world are ambitious. They’re always seeking the next rung in the ladder. I mean it is exceptionally rare. That’s why, that’s why you think about George Washington, the fact that he retired after two terms in office, why it stands out because it is so uncommon. In other words, the exception proves the rule.

Right? But leaders in this world are ambitious. Always seeking the next step. Get higher and higher and higher. Leaders in this world like to use their positions to be served by others. One thing that annoys, annoys me to no end is when I hear a filthy rich politician describe his office as serving the American people. That is, that is patently ridiculous. I’ll tell you the people who are actually serving, I’ll tell you who they are.

It’s the local elected people. If any, not even those, a lot, and you guys know that, you know, the Harris family and stuff, you guys know that a lot of those guys are just looking for the next rung. But there are some that are serving because you know what, they’re sacrificing to be there. Because they don’t get paid much. What is it like? It’s $10,000 a year and they’re in session for five months.

Now that’s a level of service, I would say. Right? But these other guys that are making $450,000 a year, giving themselves raises at will, and all the benefits and perks that come along with it, and then the book deals after, and they, you know, they ride off into the sunset with, you know, $100 and $200 million in stocks. Listen, that is not serving your country. You know what that is?

That is enriching yourself. But that’s the way the world views it. That’s the way leaders use their positions to be served. I mean, yeah, you’re serving your country and you’re like, you live better than literally any royal person in history. Give me a break. I just, I just can’t. In the world, leaders of the world enjoy the sway of their position that their position gives them over others.

They like the power they wield. In the text, it refers in verse 25, it uses the term exercise authority. It’s the idea of using it. Right? You say people do. To a lot of people, that gives people a thrill. Leaders in this world use their benefits to retain loyalty. I won’t, I’m spending a little bit too long anyway, but Luke 22, in the parallel passage, it actually describes how that the leaders of this world are benefactors.

You know what a benefactor is? A benefactor is somebody that does something nice for you to keep your loyalty. That’s what a benefactor is. Well, we’ll do this for our, you know, we’ll do this for our constituency so that they’ll continue to get, you know, that, but that, hey, that’s the way the world. It’s the way the world. Leaders in this world expect to lead as lords.

They expect to use those under them as they will. Leaders in this world rule by means of power. And that’s why no thought or connection is ever made to their personal life. They rule by power. It doesn’t matter if Marco Rubio is upright or Pete Hegseth or Donald Trump or JD Vance or any of our national leaders or state leaders or local. It doesn’t matter. That’s not what is generally under consideration.

Now, you look at the scripture, though, in many cases, the exercise of this kind of leadership that we find in the world actually disqualifies a man from spiritual leadership in God’s kingdom. Now look. Now, that’s the negative example. And the Lord says, look at the negative example. You know how they act. You know what their values are. You know what they expect of their leaders. You know what the leaders do.

Don’t do that. And then we come to the new. We come to the flip side of that, which is the positive side. I want to I want you to turn, if you would, to to First Timothy and Titus. Those are kind of close to one another. I’m just going to be flipping back and forth a little bit as I go through some of these points. But if you can be in both, that would be helpful and quick.

First Timothy and Titus. First Timothy three and Titus, Chapter one. First Timothy three is a list of spiritual leaders. In this case, it’s talking about bishops. Notice what it says. This is a true saying, verse one, Chapter three. If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach, not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre, but patient, not a brawler, not covetous, one that ruleeth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.

For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride, he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good report of them which are without, lest he fall into reproach in the snare of the devil. Now this is just one of the several lists and scripture of spiritual leaders in the kingdom of God.

Notice this. No word is spoken concerning a man’s wealth. In fact, there is a warning about shady money dealings and greed. Boy, that is the opposite. What if the politicians in our world, there was a requirement for you to run for office that you could not be greedy of filthy lucre? We wouldn’t have anybody to fill Congress. There’d be like three people sitting there having to vote.

It would be an easy vote though. But in the kingdom of God, this is, a man’s wealth is not mentioned at all. Not only that, but the only honor in the world is all about honor and connections. But in this, the only honor that’s mentioned is the honor that is associated with the purity of his life and an upright testimony. Verse number seven. Verse seven. He must have a good report of them which are without.

Not honor that comes from men, but honor that comes from holiness. No word in this passage is spoken concerning his connections with one exception, and that’s the connection with his family. That’s the connection that matters. Not what big wigs of CEOs that he knows, business owners, no, none of that matters. The Lord doesn’t even mention it. It’s nothing in the kingdom of God. This man must be meek and patient, which is just laced throughout each one of these, not only here, but also in Titus.

This spiritual leader must not assert himself. In other words, it’s the very opposite that you find in the world where the world says you have to assert yourself or you’ll be ignored or overlooked. And this says, no, you must not assert yourself. Look at Titus one, verse number seven. For a bishop must be blameless as a steward of God. The steward of God knows what it says.

Not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre. That self-will, that’s a catch-all really. He must not assert himself and set on doing his own will. That is exactly what worldly leaders do. You know what they do? They do what they want. That’s what they do. They do just exactly what they want and they use their power to get it done.

The Lord says, not so. Spiritual leaders are not to do what they want. They’re to do what God wants. But not only is the leader different, but the way he practices leadership is different from the world as well. A scriptural leader should not expect to serve others, not to be served. Their position is not about their own service to others, but about them serving others. A scriptural leader gives his life or her life for the benefit of others, not expect others to give their lives for them.

Scriptural leaders must not act as if they are the owners of that which belongs to God. 1 Peter 5, 3, it says, neither being lords over God’s heritage. That’s an owner. And the Lord says, it’s not yours. But a worldly leader, what does he do? He views his role, his place, his reign, his kingdom. It’s mine. I can do what I want. It is mine. That’s lording.

And that means I can exercise my will however I want. The Lord says, not a scriptural leader. Scriptural leaders lead. This is key. And I’d like you to look at 1 Peter if you would. 1 Peter chapter 5, because this is an important point. 1 Peter 5.

Scriptural leaders lead by going first and providing an example to follow. Going first and providing an example. You see how that is categorically the opposite from worldly leaders. Nobody cares if they follow their own example, if they do what they tell other people. Nobody asks a question. Nobody wonders. Nobody cares. Nobody, it is not even in anybody’s mind. But that is all that’s in God’s mind. And the way to lead.

In the world, people lead by power. In the kingdom of God, leaders are only to lead by example. Not power. That’s a key distinction. Notice what it says in verse number 1. 1 Peter 5, 1. The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed. Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint but willingly, not for filthy lucre but of a ready mind.

Neither is being lords over God’s heritage, but being in samples to the flock. How does a scriptural leader in the kingdom of God lead? You know how he leads? By doing the thing himself that he expects others to do. He leads not by force but by example. Right? That’s totally opposite. Totally opposite. It is all about his example. It is all about his life. It is all about his personal walk with God.

It is all about his personal uprightness. 1 Corinthians 6, 4 says this. This is crazy. If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. Least esteemed. Now, in Matthew 20, I’d like you to hold your place in 1 Timothy 3 because I want to show you one more thing. But in Matthew 20, the context of Matthew 20 he says, it shall not be so among you.

Who’s the you? He’s talking about the kingdom of God among the disciples. So these are the descriptions of the leadership, the method, the person. This is the description of the leadership in the kingdom of God among the disciples of Christ. Very clear. But how do these things apply to your other relationships outside of that? Like your family or your job. How do these things apply? Because certainly they do apply.

If you look at 1 Timothy 3, notice what it says. There’s a little hint here. He says, verse 4, 1 Timothy 3, 4. Now, this is talking about a spiritual leader, but there’s a connection. One that ruleeth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?

So there’s overlap. The way he leads his home overlaps, those principles overlap with his spiritual leadership so that they can be compared. In other words, he’s leading his home. Now, notice the word is different. He says, ruleeth well his own house, rule his own house, and then it switches and it says, take care, in verse 5, of the church of God. So it’s not exactly the same.

The kind of leadership, the kind of power that a mom and a dad, in this case a dad, has over the family is not the same as a spiritual leader in a church setting. That’s not the same. But there’s similarity. There’s similarity. So what we can do is you can take those truths and those principles and apply them. So Sam, you should set the example for Anna in your home.

You should be the thing that you want her to do, right? And we should be upright when it comes to money. And we can go on and on with all of these different features of a spiritual leader, and we can apply them to other kinds of leadership in our life. You should be humble and meek. You should care about others and seek their welfare and their benefit, even if they’re serving you in your leadership role.

Now here’s the hard thing. Sometimes this is a hard balance to strike because the world has a different expectation than that. They’re not wondering how your personal life is. And sometimes they won’t do anything unless you command them to do it, right? Sometimes it’s hard to strike that balance. But so long as you can keep those scriptural principles in line, right, you can use these scriptural principles not only in spiritual leadership, but in your family, and apply them in other areas of life as well.

Now lastly, we’re going back to Matthew chapter 20 to finish up. Verse 26 says this, But it shall not be so among you, but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister. And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant. And verse 28 is, I think, the best verse in the passage. For even the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

You want to know how to be a spiritual leader, you don’t have to look any further than the Lord himself. If you’re a husband, you don’t have to look any further than that. If you want to be a spiritual leader in a church, you don’t have to look any further than that. If there was ever a person that had the right to assert his place, if there was ever a person that had a right to rule his Lord, to use others, to expect them to serve him, to expect others to give their lives for him, if there was ever a person that had the right to use his own as he wished, to do his own will, to expect honor and glory, it was the Lord Jesus Christ, was it not?

But he didn’t. And that’s the example. He didn’t any of those things. He gave himself. He girded himself and served his disciples. He was among them, he says, as a servant. He girded himself and watched their feet. He gave and he went to the most extreme. He gave up his own life for their benefit. Right? Man, what an example. What an example of leadership. May the Lord help us to follow that example.